I'm tired of being someone that I'm not.

It makes me feel so fake. I wasn't like this in the past.

What exactly changed me to become this person whom I no longer recognise?

From this day onwards, I'll be who I am on the inside.

But it's easy to say, hard to do.

I hate this. A lot.

This is life. And life sucks.

Well, at least most of it sucks.

Well I guess I'm here blogging cos I'm sad. Again.

Well I guess I don't really have the right to be sad after getting back my progess report.
Don't wanna talk about it, just plainly, sad.
I dropped in level position, and I didn't get what I wanted badly. I should have expected this in the first place.
Nvm, I'm sad. I wanna get out of 304.
Sure, I'll miss May Joey Noreen Huihui Shien Yingzhen, of course I will. But I need something that 304 doesn't have. But apparently, Edeline says too much of it is bad, just like her class 308.

Had lunch with 205 ppl, as usual. Saw suelynn they all, quite a big bunch of them, and I was, erm, not that I'm unhappy or what, but just sian diao all of a sudden. Then I turned back to my 205 ppl, and instantly forgot their presence. A small part of me, deep inside, wished that one day I wouldn't be in the same class as those ppl. Instead, I will have all my fav ppl in the same class. I know that's kinda selfish but still, can't help wishing, although I know it will never come true.
So no harm wishing, right?

Choir isn't much for me lately, since practices are so few. It's been a long time since I sat down(actually it's standing up) and sing properly like before, with no other stuff in my mind. I can't remember when was the last time. The last time I saw Ms yin? Maybe. Speaking of which, I kinda miss Ms yin's teaching and singing etc. Bet she's busy with her wedding, I guess.

Life's been boring. Chinese O lvls is coming. Sian big time.


Made a bullet list about me: (Cos I'm bored)

• Well, I hate soft toys.
• I cry like shit when you wake me up while I'm in a good sleep.
• I'm quite scared of ghost. Sometimes.
• I love veggies :)
• I'm short.
• I am 156 cm tall. I think.
• I'm turning 15 in around 2 month's time!
• I have mood swings, sometimes. Not because of periods, but because I like it.
• I hate to wear watches.
• I hate to have hair pins all over my head. That's why I always wonder why do girls like to put so many pins on their hair.
• I hate cutting fingernails. But I DO cut them, when neccessary.
• I like to shake my leg. Though I'm already trying my BEST to get rid of that habit of mine.
• I listen to KPOP but I don't look at Korean ppl.
• I don't have a favourite singer. That's why when ppl ask me whose's my fav singer and when I say don't really have, ppl always have that shock look on their face. Very shocking meh?
• I listen to songs because I like their song.
• I listen to songs which are meaningful.
• I don't listen to songs just because they are popular.
• I like to twist my wrist so that I always hear the cracking sound of the bone.
• I am fat. At least my mom thinks I am.
• I like being alone sometimes. Because it gives me time to think of certain stuff.
• I hate being alone in crowded places because it just gives me the feeling of emptiness.
• I can't really live without friends. Friends are like the second essential thing to me after food and water.
• Sometimes I envy people because they are smart and/or pretty.
• I envy people who are rich because they always get what they want. At least, most of the time they get what they want.
• But sometimes I'm glad that I'm not very rich as it allows me to cherish things.
• But still, sometimes I don't cherish stuffs. Such as relationships with others.
• I used to carry my bag real low in the past. But now, I think carrying a bag real low looks really ugly.
• I judge people. If you don't like it, just turn around and get the hell out of my sight.
• I treat you good because you treat me good. Simple? Treat me good and I'll treat you the same way back.
• I can be real nasty if I want to.
• I'm not a pushover because I DO have a temper.
• I like gossiping with my friends. Though it's not really good.
• I like having fun.
• I'm not a nerd who studies all day, I'm just forced by my mom.
• I am a computer noob because I don't know a lot of stuffs about computer.
• I have small eyes.
• I don't really have a lot of pimples. Which I thankful for that fact.
• I like to look at pretty girls. I'm not lesbian.
• I often look at ppl's legs.
• I know I'm weird.
• Guessed that I really bored but I certainly did make a long list of myself.
• Last but not least, I love chocolates. :) It makes me happy!

Byebye.

How great. -.-


Wanted to start on something emo-ish, which was on my mind when I was watching the tv just now. But then I suddenly remember of what May told me about my style of blogging.
She said, I only blog when I'm emo and that's why it makes all my posts emo-ish.
Well, that's kinda true cos I'm too busy happy-ing when I'm happy,thus no time to blog.
Haha ok shall get back to what I want to say just now.

//
Certainly hope anyone from 304 who reads this will not get misunderstood. I'm just saying out what I want to say.

After the class chalet, I realise my class is really politic.

Everyone is doing their own stuff, which makes it no point of having a class chalet. But still, I want to thank Suemae because I recognise her effort of trying to make the class more bonded. However, quoted from Yewshen, There are just some people in the class who you can never get along with. For that, I TOTALLY agree.

Up till now, I still think that this class chalet was a bit wasted/ruined or whatever-word-you-use-to-describe-'screwed'. It makes it no different from having a chalet which your own clique of people. The only difference is, we sleep in the same chalet together.

At least, you get to sleep on the bed when you have a chalet with your clique and there's no need for everyone to cramp together in one little room. And plus, you know what, you don't need to get fed up or bu4 shuang3 or whatsoever! WOW! HOW GREAT!

Well, my point is, STOP being selfish and STOP thinking only for yourself. Like HELLO? I'm here??? Don't you see me cos I'm like quite noticable and I'm like,quite BIG size? If you don't see me, then I seriously advice you to go for a check up for your eyes.

Oh or maybe it's too dark for you to see me alone but I trust that you DO see the 5 or 6 people sleeping on the floor? Or maybe you missed that too. Oh or do you need to go for a ear check up too cos we gave you like, TWO warnings? And please have some respect for us. Too bad there's isn't a course like How-to-treat-people-with-respect. Or maybe I can start a course like that myself and I'll be your tutor. Then I should start thinking about the course fees too.

Oh how great. Now all your doings and getting you into trouble with the others. Don't blame others when you suffer the consequences because you were the one who made this happen.

//
Wow I'm so great. Proud of myself.
Feel so shuang after ranting.
Okay really feel offensive but, who cares.

Will you side me unconditionally, no matter what?

I want to go learn something.

Seriously, learn something because of myself, not because of school or whatsoever.

Not singing, of course. *oops*

What should I learn? That's the question.

Gosh, not sports also. I'm not really good at sports after I came to secondary school.

Not dancing, also.

Suddenly thought of dragon-boating. WOO~~ BUT, on second thought, it will make me even blacker than I already is.

Hmm, not any musical instrument. Definitely not.

Any suggestions?