Letters to you, you and you.

To many of you(s),

This really isn't about me isn't it. It's just all about you, then you again, and always you. And it always will be. Never changing. Everything will eventually come back to you. Because the end point of everything you do, is you.

I've seen so much people, met so many people, who are all just the same.

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What's that feeling I'm feeling right now at this moment. Lots of stuff.

Like there's something heavy on my chest. What was that word? Burdened.

Okay, this is gonna be a very disorganised post cos I'm just writing the first thing that comes to my mind right now.

It's been days since you were on my mind.

You, who always spoils my mood whenever I saw your message or your missed calls on my list.

Why. Cos I hate you?

But why when I realised I missed your birthday on the 12th, I feel so so bad. I'm so sorry I didn't reply you to say a simple Happy Birthday. I kept thinking about you the next day, and my mood was totally spoiled during the camp. Because whenever I think of you, I get reminded of certain things I wish I'd never remember. But why do I still feel guilty. Cos I threw away all the things you gave me? The thought of you just makes me want to hide in a corner and cry my heart out like that night. The worst night of my life. Maybe it's all my fault that things turned out this way. I never thought we would end up like this. All broken. Shattered.

And then you came back like nothing happened. But I'm not like you, I could never be like you.

And now there's only some things I like to tell you, even though I know you'll never read this.

I'm sorry for that night, that night when the moon wasn't up on the sky.

Wishin' I'd realise what I had when you were mine. Sorry for me being so stupid.

And I swear if we loved again I swear I'll love you right. I'll go back in time and change it, but I can't. And lastly, the words I didn't dare to tell you on that day, happy 16th birthday.